And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
