just come out here and I will go home with you...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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