If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
