Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i've created a new STD.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
