he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
