The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
