My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
