conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
