Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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