she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am one with the molecules
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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