oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
