im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
