I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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