I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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