You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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