I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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