trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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