but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize