what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
