I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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