grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
