It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
