I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize