:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
