I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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