someone threw a dead crab at me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
