You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize