Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
