Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Alive.
So much puke
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
