smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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