No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
