The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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