I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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