We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
