I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
