Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
