wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Duck Duck Cougar?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
