We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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