i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
