Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
