Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
