im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
