His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
