The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
