I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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