he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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