I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize