They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just cropdusted the office
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
