my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
