im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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