Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
