I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
