but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
