love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
