a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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