If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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