Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
