try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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