So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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